How to overcome self-doubt and trust your intuition again
I’ve been reflecting on my life and certain decisions I made, and I wondered why I chose to pursue blogging and coaching. I did not have a degree in either nor the skills when I first started. But I’m now pursuing my calling and passion for personal growth based on a “hunch” or inner knowing, as I like to call it. I realized that while many people have an inner knowing or nudge towards what they want to do, one obstacle that often stops them is self-doubt.
Do you ever question what you’re meant to do here?
Do you feel unfulfilled by your current job and career?
Do you feel that something is holding you back from pursuing your calling and what you’re meant to do here on this planet?
If you are an intuitive, empathic, or sensitive soul, chances are you’ve had an intuitive nudge towards something that lights you up or are yearning for, but something always stops you from moving towards it. It may be the voice in your head that starts with “What if?” If so, you’re in the right place. Keep reading to find out how to stop doubting yourself and trust your inner knowing.
What is self-doubt?
According to Psychology Today, self-doubt is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. Self-doubt is also related to imposter syndrome where you might feel like everything you’ve achieved is just pure luck and you might feel like a fraud even if you’re successful.
How I overcame self-doubt
For about two years, this voice swirled in my head, and it stopped me from pursuing my passion and calling. Around four years ago, I started this blog based on an intuitive nudge. I didn’t know how to start a blog, how to write, or even what a blog was when I first conceived the idea. But I knew I had to try based on the excitement I felt around it.
Once I started writing, I realized I love to share my thoughts and ideas with people, and it nourishes me emotionally. Then, about two years ago, I had another intuitive nudge to start coaching, and I completed a coaching certification, but I still felt really uncertain about turning it into a business because again, I didn’t have the skills.
I received a job offer and got into grad school, and life was busy once again, but I never forgot about my passions. They always loomed in my head, and although I tried to make time for them, I couldn’t make it a priority. In fact, after two years, I realized I want to pursue blogging and coaching because if I don’t, I will regret it.
It definitely wasn’t easy, and I had so much self-doubt, fear, and uncertainty.
What if I fail?
What if I don’t make money?
What will others think as I’m doing this?
What will others say?
These voices were there, and they definitely delayed me from pursuing my calling. I consulted so many people, including advisors and people who have walked a similar path I’ve wanted to walk before, but deep down, I knew what I wanted, and despite it all, I eventually chose to pursue what lights me up and decided to forge my own path. So how did I overcome the self-doubt, fear, and uncertainty?
Simple. I trusted my intuition, listened to my intuition, and acted with faith and courage. Now, this didn’t make the self-doubt, fear, or uncertainty go away, but I did become aware of the difference between my intuition versus noise. Sometimes the noise is external and that can come as fear, doubt or uncertainty from others, and sometimes the noise is internal—self-doubt, fear of failure or success, and fear of uncertainty.
But how do you overcome these fears and uncertainty? How do you stop doubting yourself and start listening to your intuition?
1. Awareness and Overcoming Self-doubt
The first step is to become aware of the noise around you and in your mind. When you pursue a path that is not fixed like a job, uncertainty is a given. As humans, we are not fond of uncertainty at all. As a result, many people around you, although well-intentioned, may question your choices or doubt your decisions. Consequently, you may doubt your own decisions too.
In addition to what others might say, you might not believe in yourself or your ability to be successful or your own competence. This is what I call external noise and internal noise, respectively.
The key is to become aware of it, not shut it off (even though you may want to). When you become aware of the voice in your head, you can differentiate between what is yours, what comes from outside, someone else’s voice, or society, and intuition. So instead of judging and becoming frustrated, start listening and paying attention to what’s happening within you.
I’ve learned that the voice of my intuition is very clear, subtle, and I generally feel excited, whereas the self-doubt or uncertainty is filled with stress, overwhelm, fear, or anxiety.
How does your intuition speak to you?
💫 Embodied exercise: Think of a specific thought in your mind that comes from noise and one from your intuition. Pay attention to your heart or chest area and see if you feel the energy expanding or contracting as you think that thought. Think of expansion as a green light and contraction as a yellow or red light.
Most often, the self-doubt is actually trying to protect you, not hurt you. So the doubts, although they don’t serve you, are actually trying to protect you.
✨ Reflective exercise: When you feel this inner critic or self-doubt rise and come up, take a deep breath. Put one hand on the heart and one on the belly. Relax, quiet your mind, and ask yourself — or that voice —what you’re afraid of. What are you trying to protect me from? How can I create safety for you?
See if an answer rises from within. If not, that’s okay too. Sometimes, an answer comes later, not right away and other times, you may need to go within multiple times before you get an answer. Regardless, remember to give that voice or part within you some self-compassion rather than criticism or judgment. Self-compassion will soften the doubts within and speed healing from self-doubt. Check out this blog post on self-compassion.
2. Listen to real data, not your self-doubt
When we don’t believe in ourselves, we never give ourselves a chance because the negative thoughts block that from happening, but listen to real data rather than the stories in your head about why you can’t do it or why you’re not good enough. Have your friends ever told you you’re really good at something or complimented you on that thing you want to pursue? If so, that’s real data, not the stories in your head.
✨ Reflective Exercise: Make a list and write down all the feedback you’ve received from others, good or bad, about the thing you’re doubting yourself about. For example, if you want to pursue your calling of being a make-up artist but are doubting your ability to be a good make-up artist, make a list of all the feedback you’ve received from putting make-up on others, including helping your friends and family.
Additionally, note down the things you do that you like about yourself. Every time doubts pop up, revisit this list to remind yourself of your actual potential and capability. Also, note down the feedback you receive from your body. How do you feel when you pursue your calling or passion?
For me, the real data came from people’s feedback telling me that they’re feeling lighter, clearer, etc. The real data also came from within me. I felt much happier pursuing this and more aligned with who I am. I felt more present, in flow, more energetic and more alive. This is how you trust your inner knowing by attention to real data.
3. Overcoming self-doubt driven by a lack of results
Even as I pursued this path, a lack of results easily demotivated me. I was writing consistent blog posts and posting regular content and reaching out to people I know for coaching, yet I saw no real results. I saw no increase in real growth metrics and no source of income. Now this made me really demotivated because I thought, what’s the point of doing this if I don’t see real results?
But I wasn’t seeing results that I was developing that weren’t tangible, like consistency, skill building, patience, and ultimately character development. I think character growth and intangible results are often underrated. I’m much happier, I have more energy, I sleep well, and I’m more present and creative. Can you put a value on that? Sure, these things are not making me money yet, but maybe these are the foundations for a healthy, happy, and successful life.
Although I feel demotivated by a lack of results sometimes, I choose to lean into what I want daily while moving away from the fears and self-doubt that hold me back. Courage and faith became a necessity. Also, I didn’t need courage and faith in myself just once; I continuously need courage and faith in myself (want to know how to cultivate faith in yourself, check out this blog post). It is something I consciously choose every day despite the doubts.
Moral of the story: overcoming self-doubt is not about suddenly becoming a master of your craft or getting rid of self-doubt and making your mind stop running; it’s about choosing to continuously lean into courage, faith, and that inner knowing that you have to pursue what lights you up. Despite the noise, take a grounded perspective and collect real data in the present moment to show your mind and distinguish between real data and internal noise. Choose to trust your inner knowing despite the doubts. The more you trust, the more confident you will feel in your decisions.
