Do you try to exercise, sleep well, and eat well but still feel exhausted, burnt out or just not great? Do you feel like even though you try your best to take care of yourself, you’re just not doing so? Have you started to question what self-care actually is? Keep reading because, in this post, I’ll answer what is self-care and how to implement it.

What is your idea of self-care? Maybe it is yoga, getting your nails done, exercising, or treating yourself to a nice meal. Whatever it may be if your idea of self-care is a specific activity, keep reading to find out what self-care really is.

Any of those activities above can be self-care but they may also not be. If you’re tired and exhausted from a long week’s work, getting a pedicure won’t make you feel better but sleep will.

So what is self-care and how can you implement it?

What is self-care?

Let’s first start off by defining what self-care is. Self-care is any ritual, activity, or act that nourishes your mind, body and/or soul. Self-care is a form of nourishing your being and giving yourself what you need. The most important thing when it comes to self-care is that you know what you need and what nourishes you.

Self-care is personal and unique for everyone. But it is also important to think about what you need at the moment. For example, if you are exhausted after a long day at work, getting good sleep or doing something relaxing will most likely deliver the benefits of self-care rather than stimulating your mind with Instagram reels. Even though watching reels can feel relaxing, it’s not really a form of self-care. Self-care is being more intentional about how you choose to nourish yourself.

Examples of self-care activities to try

Self-care can be meditating to give your mind a break or moving your body to work out your muscles. My personal self-care routine includes meditating to rest my mind, working out to move my body, and reading to stimulate my mind. On occasion, I also like to paint or create to nurture my creativity and soul. Other than meditating, I don’t do the rest of them daily but more so when I need them.

Check out any of these activities for examples of self-care. Pick any of these and give them a try when you’re feeling you need to nourish yourself in some way.

1. Meditation
2. Exercise or go to the gym
3. Yoga
4. Reading
5. Watch a rom-com movie
6. Draw or paint
7. Journal
8. Eat a healthy and balanced meal
9. Connect with a friend or family member
10. Watch something funny and laugh
11. Play a sport/game
12. Listen to music
13. Feel the sensations in your body
14. Dance
15. Work on a creative project
16. Take a warm bath
17. Get a massage
18. Go for a walk
19. Practice gratitude
20. Pray to a higher power

The only caveat with self-care is to listen to your body and ask what you need. While you can pick any of these activities randomly when you feel stressed, that may not be the best strategy as you’re not taking care of yourself. The key to picking a self-care activity is to listen to the body, ask what it needs and do that activity.

Why is self-care important?

Self-care has become a pretty trendy topic in the past few years. All the awareness on mental health has made people realize how important it is to take care of oneself. That is amazing. However, these trendy topics on social media can also lead to a lot of misinformation. Many people don’t understand what is self-care. Painting toes or treating yourself to a large dinner may not be the best self-care activity when you’re stressed about work.

Let’s look at the evidence for why self-care is important and how to truly nourish oneself.

A self-care routine can reduce or heal anxiety, depression, stress, frustration, and anger. It can also increase concentration, happiness, and energy. On a physical level, self-care can reduce the chances of heart disease, stroke, and cancer. It may also help us realize the meaning of our lives on a spiritual level².

One clinical study examined patients with substance use disorder and other psychiatric conditions. Patients with longer outpatient mental health care and those who participated in self-help groups had better substance use outcomes and increased social functioning outcomes¹. In summary, there are numerous benefits to engaging in self-care.

Self-care is also part of self-love. On the journey of self-love, self-care is an important step to take.

What is self-care and how can you implement it?

By now you should have a pretty solid understanding of what self-care is. It is an activity that nourishes your well-being. However, it is more than just getting your nails done or doing yoga. Self-care is about understanding what you need and when you need it. So how can we implement self-care?

1. Ask yourself how you feel in the moment.

This is a very important question to ask yourself especially to understand when you need self-care. Self-care sounds like a simple concept but it is harder to implement than it sounds. Initially, it takes some time to develop emotional intelligence to understand how you feel. But the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

Try out this exercise to get better at noticing how you feel.

1. Once in a while throughout your day, pause and scan your body. Notice any sensations you feel.
2. Get familiar with your body. Pay attention to your breath. Don’t change it. Just pay attention. Listen to your heart rate.
3. If there are no major sensations, just try to tune in and see if there are any emotions such as slight joy, sadness, anger etc.

Do this 2-3 times a day until you get better at recognizing how you feel and it becomes second nature.

2. Ask yourself what you need and give that to yourself.

The next step once you’ve figured out how you feel is to determine whether you feel depleted in any way. Do you feel drained, exhausted, stressed, tired, or frustrated in any way? Even if you feel okay, ask yourself if there’s anything you need at the moment. Then figure out how can you give that to yourself. Your needs will depend on how you feel in the moment.

Needs can be anything from rest, calming down, feeling safe etc. What you need will depend on you. For example, if you recognize that you feel stressed, ask yourself what you need. It could be that you need to calm your mind and body. Needs are quite intuitive, we just need to get good at recognizing them. Once you’ve found out what you need, figure out how you can obtain it. One way to calm yourself could be to meditate or do some deep breathing. However, hugging your significant other can also be calming for you. What helps you calm down will depend on you.

The key is getting good at figuring out what you need when you need it. Again this could take some time. Try this exercise as an extension of the exercise above.

1. Once you figure out how you feel, ask yourself what you need.
2. Sometimes the answer might easily pop up and other times it may not. For example, when you’re stressed, it may be quite clear that you need to calm down or feel more peace. However, if you’re upset, it may not be so clear what you need in that moment. This is why tuning into yourself regularly is important so you can get better at recognizing what you need.
3. If the answer is not always clear in terms of what you need, experiment. Try something you think may help you. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, try something else later.

Over time, you’ll get better at picking self-care activities for yourself that truly nourish you. Even if you can’t give yourself what you need at the moment, you can still care for your being. For example, perhaps you need some connection, but meeting your friends at 12 in the night may not be possible but you could message them the next day or meet up over the weekend. This is true self-care. When you understand how you feel and meet your needs accordingly.

Now one thing to distinguish is if you find joy in things like doing your skin-care routine or night time routine, definitely continue to do them because it is filling you or satisfying to you in some way. Even though it may not meet a specific need, as long as it feels good to you and your body, do it.

3. Reflect on whether you feel better in any way, more energized or just fuller.

Once you’ve identified your need and given yourself what you need, reflect on how you feel. Do you feel better in any way? More energized? Fuller or just less of what you were feeling before?

How did giving yourself what you needed help you? Did you learn anything new about yourself? Did you experience any increase in self-awareness? This process will better attune you to your needs helping you to give yourself the care you need when you need it.

Even if you didn’t feel better, remember that this process can take time and initially may require some experimentation. Try to dig deeper and increase your awareness. Increasing your awareness will help you understand clearly what you need. For example, you feeling lonely may help you realize that you need connection. However, you may be used to numbing your feelings with a glass of wine or watching TV. Reflect on whether this technique makes you feel better. If not, next time, try reaching out to a friend. If that doesn’t help either, perhaps you need to connect to yourself.

In summary, self-care is anything that nourishes your mind, body and soul. It is crucial for one’s mental health, physical health and even spiritual health. Self-care reduces the symptoms of clinical issues and adds to one’s meaning in life. Now you have a better understanding of what is self-care. To implement, the process is understanding how you feel and recognizing what you need based on your current state. Once you recognize what you need, give it to yourself. Reflect on how that made you feel. Remember that this process takes some experimentation. Experiment and take care!

References

1. Moos, R., Schaefer, J., Andrassy, J., & Moos, B. (2001). Outpatient mental health care, self-help groups, and patients’ one-year treatment outcomes. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 57(3), 273–287. doi:10.1002/jclp.1011
2. Glowiak, M. (2020). What is self-care and why is it important for you? Southern New Hampshire University. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care